The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette. Photo courtesy of
Warning: This may kill a few of your brain cells if you have a peculiarly high IQ. But I am not ashamed to say I love The Bachelorette and The Bachelor. Put anyone on as the star, other than a Muppet, and I will happily watch. I wish both shows played all year long. I’m working on a book based on a fictitious Bachelor-like show, so I am especially into reality TV right now. I tell myself the time I spend on gossip blogs is “research” and then I don’t feel guilty.

Here are my thoughts on tonight’s episode:

I felt bad for Emily when she was relaying historic information to Sean. He didn’t seem to be enjoying it. I felt a pang of embarrassment for her, since it seemed like something I would do. Sean is sweet, cute, nice, etc. (blah blah blah) but there was NO chemistry. I am afraid she will end up with him since Nothing Is Wrong With Him, and that is usually a girl’s number one criteria in a guy.

Kaylin. I might be misspelling his name, but he is not worth a google search. How did that guy get so far? He seems like he learned how to “behave” by watching episodes of Gossip Girl. He thought wearing a sweater with a tiny tennis racket embroidered on it would make him seem classy. This is an example I just made up, but if you review old episodes, it’s probably true. Good riddance.

Ryan. I found him to be a ridiculous jerk, but as Emily is beginning to find his ridiculousness charming, so am I. I hate it when that happens. I did not like his Shakespearean jokes about death, however, at the end of the show. I think he forgot about Emily’s past, and if he can forget that, he is as self-absorbed as I feared.

Jef. He’s nice and sweet, but I don’t really get it. And those shorts last episode. Why didn’t the show’s producers guide him away from those? Only a cute little seven year old boy in a J. Crew catalog could have gotten away with that look. Does Emily seriously have feelings for him? He reminds me of someone I used to work with who was kind of a weasel, but that’s more my issue than his.

They guy with the kid. Sorry, I can’t remember your name. I think your kid’s name is Austin. You’re way too into being a dad. You’re like a professional dad. Emily needs a man, not just a father for her kid.

Wolf. His red pants tonight, though nearly edited completely out of every scene, were BAD. If you’re going to go by “Wolf” you need to embrace your dark side and leave the preppy pants at the door.

Ari. Of course Ari should be who Emily ends up with. I don’t really care about the blogs that warn that he is not as mature, monogamous, or sincere as he claims to be. Nor am I concerned about the blogs that warn us about Emily. These blogs always try to spring upon us that people are not perfect. But people don’t have to be perfect to make a great couple. I think Ari is her man. I hope she ends up with him!

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