It’s so funny how every time Bill and I go for a walk at Pheasant Branch Conservancy in the early evening, the next day people report having heard the distinctive ‘Whoop Whoop’ of a Squatch. One of these times we’re going to see one. Hopefully a baby! In the meantime, I have created this mix of music that I think would attract a Squatch, or perhaps even some Chupacabras, since these are all my favorites that nobody else likes. Just like Squatchy.
But first, some facts to keep in mind:
Squatches like country music. They are not city slickers. They do not like club music. They cannot dance.
Squatches are private creatures. If you bring a camera, your odds of seeing one go down substantially.
Squatches smell bad. Not to be mean, but it’s true.
Squatches are probably friendly, but they might be mean. Who knows?
Chupacabras are a whole different story.
Highwayman – by the Highwaymen
Elvira – by the Oak Ridge Boys
The Oakridge Boys covering The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army – I think this one, more than any of the others, would really drive Squatchy out of his cave. Play this while holding a tray of freshly baked cinnamon rolls.
Country Roads – by John Denver
Pancho and Lefty – performed by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard.
Flowers on the Wall – by the Statler Brothers
All the Gold in California – by the Gatlin Brothers
Hey Good Lookin’ – performed by Johnny Cash
Man of Constant Sorrow – by the Soggy Bottom Boys
A Country Boy Can Survive* – by Hank Williams Jr
*Switch out ‘Country Boy’ for ‘Squatchy Boy’ to more effectively lure in a Squatch.